06 Dec 10 For all teenagers. What do you think of my writing?

Question by Tarek: For all teenagers. What do you think of my writing?
chapter one.

The rain slanted out of the dark blue sky, drenching Kulprit’s city. The clouds seemed to vanish and then reappear under the grayish light of lightning.

A tall, man stood in the middle of the forest, his head raised towards the sky and his eyes blinking from the droplets of rain. He was on a mission. But he decided to stop and enjoy the patter of rain as it fell into a near lake. Suddenly, he lowered his head from the sky and rubbed his chin where thick, brown hair grew. He was late. Slowly, he struggled down the muddy pathway, his boots diving deep into the ground with every step he took. Some time later, he began to gain speed and he was running down the forest.

He stopped frequently, looking behind the shadows of trees, under broken stones, and he even checked empty birds’ nests. He was searching for a baby; a baby he was supposed to find somewhere , deep in the forest.

The rain got heavier and the man’s brown, wool jacket got soaked up, making him shiver. The muddy ground started to feel slippery, and as he prudently climbed down a steep ground he lost control over his body, and his feet shot up in the air forcing him to go down on his back.

He got back on his feet and wiping specks of mud that covered his forehead and nose with his elbow, he thought that he’d never find the child.

After sitting under a maple tree, counting the seconds on the tips of his fingers, he noticed a line of ants darting forward. Before looking away, he blinked twice, turned his sight to the ants and scampered forward on his knees. He placed his face right behind the line of orange ants. The line seemed to move up in a curve the moment he placed his face near them, but then they darted forward faster and vanished up the log of the tree.

His eyes widened and a wide smile appeared at his face. After knocking his palm with his fist, he jumped to his feet and climbed the nearest log. The ants would lead him to the baby.

Best answer:

Answer by Catherine
i love it and i would most definatly read it. i read it and saw nothing wrong with it at all.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
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